We won't sleep together?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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