Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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