She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
