i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize