About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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