and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
