Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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