we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
