East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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