there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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