I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
