obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
