That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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