i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
