Your tits are I can't wait for
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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