We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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