youre lurking in front of me
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
