Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
