she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
