Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize