Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
