I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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