i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
