Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
All I want is dick and wine.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
