Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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