Fine. I'll sleep in my office
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
