There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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