You made me cry and you don't even care
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
