Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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(954): View more from Florida

so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean

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(708): View more from Illinois

Less talking, more tequila

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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(703): View more from Virginia

No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church

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