i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She even gives head with a lisp.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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