To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
