Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
