Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
