my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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