I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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