I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
