you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
