Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
