I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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