A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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