can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
