i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
