You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I party with great urgency now.
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