I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
