Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
