If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
my poor anus
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
