i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
