Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
