I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
