If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
