You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
