Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she pinky promised me she was 18
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
