I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
