dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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