he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
