a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
