I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone came in the potted fern
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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