how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
