btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i drank out of a bidet.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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