Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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