I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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