The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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