If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
