The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
