office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
