I'm sorry my penis didn't work
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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