Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
worst night to have a conscience
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
