? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
