'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
