Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize