roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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