Small penises have feelings too.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
