I'm eating all of the evidence.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
