OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
