i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
