is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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