I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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