then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
