Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
