very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
