she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
do nipples grow back?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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