so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
