Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
