ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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