Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
